Reflection Sunday: Week 3

Caveat:  I have tried to write this Sunday's Reflection with an open heart; however, this was very hard to achieve.  I wanted to post a blog NOT effected by my emotions; hpowever, this was not possible today.  Know that I cannot separate my emotions from my writings.  All I do here is for God, and, it is He alone to whom I acknowledge my feelings.    

    My journey this week has taken me over hills and through valleys.  One of these hills has been finding my new home.  I am so blessed for God to grant me this simple gift, and I praise Him daily for this and many other gifts He has given to me.  One of these valleys has been the evening at the ER with a dislocated jaw.  Wow, that still sounds painful even after the fact.  BTW, today (Monday) my pain is way down and so is the swelling.  Thank you all for your prayers for quick healing.  With both of these and several other hills and valleys, I have learned so much this past week.

     The hills came in many forms this week like finding my new home, finishing my first week of work, writing emails and letters to loved ones, and finally, moving into a hotel to get some much needed rest.  It was only through persistant determination and stubbornness that reached the tops of these hills.  The more I worked last week and got to know my cases, the more adamant I became in their safety, protection, and well-being.  The children in Reading have so much with which to contend -- just as much as any large city in the US, Canada, Europe, and so on.  But I am here in Reading and  it is only here that I can fulfill God's call to help and to protect.  I know that I cannot save the world, England, London or all of Reading; however, I can help one or two or more children stay safe and encourage them to succeed with their life goals. 

      I have also learned that I must concentrate on what I am doing here in Reading and leave Pittsburgh behind me for now.  I live here, work here, and rest here.  This is now my home.  Although I can keep in touch with my family and friends in the US, I must build friendships here for support and guidance.  As I mentioned in an earlier blog -- I cannot finish this journey without the help of others.  I have no misgivings about admitting this to anyone since everyone, including Jesus, needed help and assistance from others.  Jesus asked His twelve apostles to spread His word to others after He was gone.  They did so, and now, through their determination and strong will, we know about God's glory and all His wonderful gifts which He has bestowed upon us.  I know that the work I do here will not reach too many others outside of those who read this blog, but I know and God knows what I do here, and that's all that truly matters.  Many of you know that I find the most joy in my life through helping others in distress.  This has not changed for me (nor do I think it ever will).  Once again, I thank God for this.

     Now for the valleys.  It has been extremely difficult to climb our these valleys because my physical and emotional well-being has been in such pain.  I will not go into the physical pain of my jaw since that was so recent.  However, I will reflect on the emotional pain with which I have been struggling.  After walking through that doorway and leaving myself vulnerable and exposed to the elements of this world, I knew I would encounter several disappoiontments and negative experiences.  This is with both the people whom I love and the children with whom I work.  These children are as vulnerable and exposed as I am today and I will do all I can to help them find safety and stability in their lives.  I was able to "walk" through my doorway, but these children have been "pushed" through theirs -- and that, my friends, is totally wrong and unfair.  Now, I know that all of you think "well, Patty, life is not fair?"  That's correct, life is not fair; however, this does not mean that one can not help to change the course of this "fairness" to benefit these children.  That is what I am here to do -- change the course of their valleys to level ground again.  Then, hopefully, guide them to their pathways to their mountaintops. 

     My heart pours out tears for all children who are suffering and harmed by another human being.  It is very difficult for me to hear how much money things will cost when a child's life is at stake, especially when gold crowns and splendid jewels are sitting behind glass and doing nothing in London.  How wrong is this?!!!  How can any amount of gold or jewels compare in price to the life of a human being -- especially a child.  It is with this heavy heart and angry disposition that I find strength to succeed on my jouney to which God has led me.  Although I feel hurt and anger, I also feel hope and joy and happiness in that God has guided ME here to help.  And, as I will state again, it is in helping others where I find the most joy and happiness in my life.  How ironic that I am drawn to the weak and defenseless only to find strength and happiness. 


     The sum of all these experiences this past week is this:  God has given me the opportunity to use the faith and hope in Him to find a way into these children's hearts -- if not while I am with them; then when they stand before Him.  I know this in my heart and there is no reason to believe otherwise.  I have followed God's call for me to various places and experiences in this world.  I will never stop believeing in His endless love and grace in me.  With God as my guide, my comforter and my strength, there is no way in which I can fail Him.  I do all things for Him and it is His call for me to be here in the UK to help His smallest children. 

     While I am here, I know I will grow in faith, love and peace as well.  I love the fact that many of you are reading my blog and commenting on my experiences.  I pray that through these blogs you too will find the strength you need to make the journey which God has prepared for you.  The hills and valleys which I crossed this past week helped to build my faith in God stronger.  There were several people back home who did not believe that I would succeed over here, but they did not know that this was a call from God.  And I know that "all things are possible with God."  I hope you will come to this as well, so that when you encounter your valleys, you will know that God will be there to lend His hand to climb out and to guide you to the mountaintop.  May you all find peace this week iinb knowing that God makes ALL things possible and through His unconditional love, your valleys will turn to mountaintops. 

Be at peace.